Last night, as midnight crept up on me....the moment felt epic. And then I laughed at myself, because EVERY new years date seems epic, but really nothing significant changes for me. I'm more likely to make life altering decisions in the middle of April, or just during that time of the month. Years ago I gave up the illusion that THIS was the year I'd finally run that marathon, or resolve to learn a new instrument. In my more recent years, I've looked new years day in the eye and giggled in self-amusement at the thought of holding true to something for a whole 12 months. Anyone that knows me well, knows that I am the queen of grand ideas and announcements, but eventually settle back into the familiarity of the true me (which, let me tell you, stays out of work out clothes and prefers a good book to anything hugely productive).
But that being said, I did have a "yikes" moment last week. My mom has made it a tradition at our house that with every major holiday and birthday, we honor that occasion. For birthdays, every goes around the table and says something that they love and appreciate about the birthday person. For Thanksgiving, it's something you're grateful for over the last year, and for New Years, it's the goals and resolutions you strive for in the new year. This year, I sat around the table last week, and couldn't come up with ONE THING that I wanted to accomplish this year. Nothing that I was hoping to succeed at. Nothing that was making me want to jump with excitement. Realizing that.....it hit me between the eyes. I always have SOMETHING that I'm working to achieve...something I'm dreaming of. So I have spent the last week thinking this through, and deciding that I absolutely want to have a dream that I can look back on 365 days from now and pat myself on the back for with an encouraging nod. I also know that I am not quite disciplined enough to commit to something for a whole year, so I've decided to split the year up and pick three things to focus on for each quarter of the year. So from now to March, I've got my three things. Three goals or dreams, or just simple small self-improvements. I'll keep you posted, and let you know if I've earned that encouraging nod at the end of three months!
I would be absolutely remiss to move into this new year without an encouraging nod to my self of 2009. This year has been marked by death and new life, and everything in between. There have been personal failures and achievements, memories and life. BethLaurren Photography has been through a lot this past year...I have been blessed with the most amazing clients this past year, and friendships that I cherish. I've spent the last few days looking back through old slideshows and remembering wedding receptions (and cakes!), remember the many "oh my gosh she's beautiful" rush of emotions, laughing at the moments I've caught of unsuspecting subjects, and smiling at every single couple that has touched my life this year. I have been honored to join so many people on their wedding day, and it's humbling and wonderful and emotional and precious.
I put together a slideshow of the wonderful weddings I have been a part of - you can see the **SLIDESHOW HERE**
Happy New Year to you. I hope you have found your dreams this past year and have looked at yourself and given an encouraging nod as you spring into another year, another opportunity to chase your dreams.